Just here...

I feel like I'm just here! I don't have anyone I can depend on and I need some help. My car battery died, for reasons that I don't want to get into right now, and no one will come help me. It is just ridiculous. And if I ask them it's like I'm pulling there teeth out. There is only one person that I can ask and she hasn't moved her car since it snowed, so yea. It just is really disappointing that it is so hard to feel I like I belong around here. I've tried and tried and I don't know what is wrong with me. Either I'm selfish or they are, I'm not sure. I feel very a lone. Looks like I'm going to be going to the Christmas market by myself because no one ever wants to go. I was going to go tomorrow, but the weather is shitty, so I may go next week some time. Hopefully someone will decide they want to go with me. I really don't want to go alone, but I will if I have too. I just want to see it. I just want to experience it. I know I have next year but I would like to see it. I'm in Germany and haven't done like anything. I would like to see just one stupid Christmas market. Why is everyone so resistant to having a little fun. You don't have to spend a ton of money. Just walk around with me for an hour or so. I want to take advantage of my time here in Germany, but it's really hard to do everything on your own. I'm really sick of feeling so alone. But I will continue to deal with it because I have to.

Snow..

We have a ton of Snow here in the great country of Germany. I'm going to say over a foot of it. Lots of shoveling has been done. I was very upset with my neighbors, they haven't even attempted to shovel. So I think when I see them outside I'm going to tell them that their walkway isn't my obligation to shovel every time it snows and I would appreciate if they would try to shovel every once in a while. I don't think they realize that if you keep up on it, it's a lot easier and I've helped them out a lot by doing it each time. I just don't like my neighbors, the don't pick up their dog shit, they don't clean up their garbage when the dog tears it up, they leave their stuff laying all over, and they don't help with the things that we are supposed to help each other with. And if you ask them to do it they make up some excuse when they didn't and then do a half ass job cleaning it up. I even reported them and they clean it up or whatever for the re check and then never touch it again. Took them 2 extra weeks to do fall clean up then it was supposed to. They just anger me! Makes the whole building look like shit and since we are the only ones in this building, that is sayin something. Also I don't think they realize that my husband is deployed, you are not, I do everything for the entire how with no help, you 2 have each other to help each other out, so Shovel your damn walk way!!! He even had thursday off last week and didn't do a damn thing and it had stopped snowing by then. I just don't like them.
Anywho, I took the dog for his pre neuter check up today! He is getting his manhood chopped off next week and it is exciting! I'm thinking that maybe he'll calm down for just a min and I my cat will be happy with a day without Zeke. But Zeke sure does love this snow. Can't get enough. And walking him in over a foot of snow saves me from having to go to the gym. YAY for that.
Decorated just a little for Christmas today. Just enough to feel festive and easy to leave up till after hubby and I have our Christmas together! Just over a month and my man is home for 2 weeks and I get to some fun, the way married people are supposed to have fun. I married to have some steady fun, but damn military foiled my plan. ;) Anyway I think this all for now!!

Back..

Well I'm back from the states and as wonderful as it to go back and see everyone, I'm glad to be back. This is home and nothing is like home. I have a great time, and got to spend quite a bit of time with my niece. She was sick for most of it and didn't want to have much to do with me, but in the inbetween time when she wasn't clinging to Grandma or dad she and I had a great time. She is absolutely adorable and has quite a vocabulary now and cracked me up. I love that little girl!!!
I went to Iowa for a weekend and saw my grandparents on both sides. I missed them a lot and it was good to see them. It's amazing how much can change in 9 months, but I believe they will be ok. Also while in Iowa I stayed with one of my very best friends and she took me out to dinner. After dinner she had a bunch of my friends surprise me and I got to see some people that I haven't seen in years!! It was awesome and I'm so happy to have her and my wonderful friends. I also went and saw my mother in law, sister in law and nephew and I was glad I got to see them! I think it made my husbands mom feel better, knowing for sure that he is ok and that everything is ok.
My niece gave me her cold so my brain is not functioning like normal so explaining things is hard. But I will say leaving Zeke was a nightmare. The lady that watched him didn't know anything and was being an idiot. Zeke peed in her house and I got 5 emails and 3 phone calls in 5 days. It was a NIGHTMARE!!! What was I going to do 5,000 miles away she was an idiot and didn't get it when I said he is a handful and needs lots of time and exercise. She wouldn't listen to my suggestion and bitched me out, which she got it right back. I was so mad cause she was telling how I raise my dog is ridiculous and you can't expect people to follow along with this and blah blah blah. I did not appreciate that and I let her know it. I ended up have a friend take him for a a day and night and gave her a break and time to collect herself. When I went to get Zeke he was so excited to see me and I was just as excited. He got so big and his adult fur is coming in wonderfully. The lady didn't really brush him and he was shedding like a monster. You can tell it took a toll on him mentally and some physically but he's turning back into his old self slowly.
I brought my cat back with me. Traveling with a cold and cat was hell and I will never ever travel with a pet by myself ever again. But Max did great and I'm glad he adjust so well. Max is dominating over Zeke. It is hilarious to see a 12 lb cat kick a 60lb dogs ass. I love it and it is quite entertaining. The first encounter Zeke ended up behind my legs hiding. Hilarious! But anyway I need to go and do some unpacking since I've been not doing that. I actually had to shovel a massive amount of snow when I got home since the neighbors didn't attempt to shovel in 3 days of snow. Pissed me off and I might have chat with them. Cause since them and I are the only ones in this building, they need to do there part too. Pissed me off that I had to shovel there walk way to get to my door. I was not pleased to pull my 50lb suitcase through a foot of snow after not sleeping for 24 hours. Anyway have a great day everyone!

Everything goes wrong before you leave...

Yes, everything goes wrong before I leave. But I got it mostly taken care of. So on monday I ran some errands and went to the post office to check my box and on the way back to my car I dropped my ID, which is like your entire life around here, and drove away. It took me 2 mins to realize I didn't have so I turned around and went back to find it. I was asking people and was told someone picked it up and walked off. So I checked the MP station, called the amazing Read D guy, he had me call the ID office and see if anyone turned it in. No had, call the the MP station later still no luck. So I told Mr. Amazing that I would try again tomorrow and if I didn't find it by 11am I would be giving him a call. So no I didn't find it, so we went through this big process to get a new ID. Thought I needed a Special power of attorney and so Rear D got a hold of the hubby down range. Well then I find out I don't need the SPOA and I just needed deployment orders and so I got my new ID! YAY!! Well so after I got the new ID I went to check my box again. Well guess what was in my box.. My fuckin ID!! I was so mad. Not as upset as the hubby was, I felt so bad. He ended up getting the SPOA and to get that he had to miss an entire day of work and go to some Camp out there. Well since I couldn't get a hold of him for 3 days he went out of his way. Talked to him last night and laid the biggest apology down. He was not upset with me because there really isn't anything we could do about being able to get a hold of each other.Then my car.. ahh.. my car. Something is wrong with it and the dash lights wont turn off. Needless to say it drained my battery, and then day before yesterday I went to run errands and had to unhook my battery every time parked or it would die. So I had to bite the bullet and go get a new one. 67 dollars that I didn't want to spend. I plan on getting that fixed when I get back from the states. Lastly, everything I thought I had right about bringing my cat over wasn't. Luckily I can fix it while I'm home I hope.
On the bright side, I think Zeke is going to love his temporary home. He get's along with the ladies little girl really well and I think it's going to be ok. I go back to the states in 3 days, and I can't wait. I'm so excited! As I keep stating over and over!! But everything is basically set to go. Got to pick up some snacks for the plane and laundry tomorrow and then Sunday I'm packing! Monday I take the train to Munich and I'm off. I just am so ready to for a little refresher! Get away from being in the house all by myself and see some family. Anyway, I need to run a couple errands and take my pup for a walk. You have a wonderful day!!!!

Poor Puppy...

My puppy got sick last night! Poor pup. He's had this before when he was like 4 months and it was terrible. He get's really bad diarrhea and can't hold it and then shit's all over my kitchen floor by the back door. Which is good I guess if he's going to do it somewhere. At least it's not on the carpet upstairs. But what I don't understand is why he always gets this at night. If he could get the whole not being able to hold his stool during the day I would be eternally grateful! But he's feeling better, still a little squirty but has his hyperness back! Glad I didn't have to take him to the vet this time. The last time he was dehydrated, wouldn't eat and my kitchen smelled like shit for about 2 weeks. This was much better! But anywho, tomorrow is monday!! The beginning of me getting ready to go home. And all I can think is, I really hope my hubby calls soon! I wont get to talk to him much while I'm home, cause I'm leaving this laptop here and it will be really hard to stay online on a big old desktop when I'm home. Plus I'm hoping to be really busy and wont have to in front of the computer, like I obsessively do here. But it's time for some reading and bed. Good night!

Good times 3000 miles away...

These past few days have been the best times I have had here in a long time! We celebrated a friends birthday a couple days early because she had to work, today, which is her birthday! So Thursday we went out to eat at this yummy mexican food place. Yeah, I know, better then in the states too!! Afterward we went back to her place and had some drinks and a dance party in her living room. It was a lot of fun. Then on Friday we ran errands together and I spent way too much money on getting the type of suitcase I wanted. Well a big enough one so I only had to take one suitcase home. I now cannot spend anymore money over here until I leave. But after that we went over to my friends and had a little fire and then watched a Christmas movie. Yes a Christmas movie before Thanksgiving but I think it's my new favorite Christmas Movie. And I'm going to make a recommendation to watch "White Christmas" sometime this year if you haven't already seen it!!! Today then we had the end of year soccer party at the bowling alley and that was a good time! It just was so nice to actually finally let the people I've met see the real me, I don't think they understood how or who I am in a way and I think these last few days have really showed that. It was hard to get some people to get to know me, and I'm complicated and weird and hard to understand sometimes, but I think it's going to be better now! I just was happy, for the first time in a while! And it's making these last days before I go home go by so much faster and I hope that continues. I cannot wait to get off that plane in Chicago and see home! I'm just so excited!! Tonight another friend is coming over that I haven't been able to hang out with cause she is so busy, we are going to drink some hot german wine and chat, catch up! I'm excited for that too!! Tomorrow is going to be a chill day and then monday the Ciaos begins to get ready for leaving! But anyway I need to get off this computer and get a couple things done before my friend gets here. Have a great morning, afternoon, evening, or night!

Cleaning Day!!!

Today is cleaning day. Going to try to get it all done instead of spreading it out over 2 or 3 days. I like to procrastinate like that! Not to mention I hate to clean. Hate to clean!!! Some people just don't like it, some people don't do it at all, some people can't stand not to clean, I can't stand a dirty house and hate to clean!! Plus my dog loves to get his paws really muddy then run through the house. And I really didn't keep up on the cleaning this week so the house is extra dirty. But my coffee is finished and I should have already started. Instead I'm dragging this out.
2 1/2 months and my husband is home on R&R! So here I am waiting again for that time to come. I'm hoping it goes by as fast as I'm thinking it will. I go back to the states in 13 days and cannot wait as I've stated before. I'm so sick of waiting for all this stuff to happen. I'm so impatient. I need to work on that. Next year is going to be amazing. Going to have a whole year together!! EXCITING!! Gosh there are so many things to look forward too! I want them here now!! And this is all for today!!!

Traveling with my parents

Well, I guess it's time to go over the trips with my parents. This probably wont be too long! My parents got here on October 7th. 3 1/2 hour trip to Frankfurt in the dark was not very fun for me consider when it's dark in Germany, it's pitch black. So I picked them up and we stopped in the this little town on the way back and got coffee and a yumminess at this bakery. I wish I could live in that town, it was so cute and everyone was really nice. Got them home, gave them the grand tour and went and picked up my pup. Needless to say my dad loved Zeke!! They were like 2 pea's in a pod. My mom isn't really a dog person, but they got a long ok. The next day I took them to Amberg. Even after everything we saw, my dad still liked that town more then any other place. They walked around and dad had his first beer and my mom had her first glass of German wine. I do believe they were in heaven. Then I took them to have their first doner. Which is like a gyro, only better!!!! It was a nice easy day and got them used to the German atmosphere. On the 9th we were going to go to Nuremberg, which is my favorite city/town, but my dog sitter, even though told me she would be free, wasn't, so I gave them a town of my town and the other military town that is close. That is where mom and dad had there first taste of brats and sauerkraut and just german cuisine. Pretty much in heaven there too. Then we took a day off and just grilled out and such here. On the 11th through 13th we took our trip to the Black Forest. Actually got to go into my first massive, beautiful castle. I've seen then from the outside but haven't been able to go in. We took a tour, but the tour guide didn't speak english so it was in German and we had no idea what was going on. But it was still really amazing inside. We then went to find a hotel. Went into Stuttgart, me being retarted, didn't know how big that place was and we moved on to the next town. Which was still bigger then I thought, but we found a hotel and had a good nights sleep. The next day we started heading into the smaller town and the heart of the Black Forest. The autobahn was so crazy and kept stopping and but the gps on finding a different route and ended up taking this road that was... gorgeous. I really wish I hadn't been driving. My parents were having heart attacks! I don't even know how we found the road. We made it to triberg 2 hours later then I want because the road were so windy and crazy. But we had a delicious dinner in triberg and went to find a hotel. The ones in Triberg were way too expensive, so I was on the gps trying to find one outside Triberg so it wasn't so expensive and the thing sent us out into someone pasture. Quite amusing!!! On the way out to the pasture we passed a hotel so I had marked it on the GPS and we went back there. Turns out to be this adorable place with the nicest people that own it. My favorite type of hotel to stay at. We got our room and then went to the Triberg waterfall. And holy cow, beautiful!!! I really want to go hiking through the Black Forest, maybe when the hubby is home. We went back to the hotel after that and had a small dinner and some beer and wine. The man got us all slightly drunk and had us cracking up. We met an Australian couple and chatted with them for a bit, they were super nice and gave me a couple ideas for when hubby is home. Wednesday we went to the German clock museum and then stated heading back home. We hit a winery on the way back which turned out to be the highest winery in Germany and was actually really greatly priced and the wine is amazing. So I bought a couple bottles for when the hubby is home. He loves wine! Then went to find some place to eat and couldn't we at a gas station. I know weird. But they have like kitchens int there gas stations. I had some hot dog type thing and my parents had this steak thing. Got home around 6 and I complete crashed. I was so tired. Driving sure wears you out. haha! We took a day off and just hung around home. The next day we went to Prague. I love Prague!! Parents loved it. There really isn't much to say about Prague. It's beautiful and that's all you need to know!!! Prague was out last big trip! We took the next couple days off and did some things around here. The 18th was my birthday, We went to Nuremberg and walked around, then met up with a couple of my friends, ate dinner and then went to a pub called Finnagins. This is where my parents watched me get completely and told drunk!! It was a good time. One of my friends who never really drinks ended up throwing up, which always makes it a good night. After that we just kinda of hung around. The day before they left I took them back to Amberg and they had there last doner. That was a good time! Then I took them back to Frankfurt the next morning and sent them off. Didn't hit me that they were gone until I went to go to bed! But I'm going back to the states in a couple weeks so it wasn't too bad. The next day I was so tired, but sooo bored. They sure kept me busy. That is all for now.. I'm trying to figure out what to do today! Anyway everyone have a great Halloween!!!

Today!!!

Today is going to my real first outdoor clean up of my very first actual house. I'm dreading and excited about it all at once. Zeke will enjoy being outside for the most the day though. I just wish I could leave him off the leash and he wouldn't take off. That is a new thing, I see it in his eyes now. He'll start to slowly walk toward the direction he wants to go, I will call him, he will look at me look back, look at me and look back then all at once all four feet are flying through the air and I'm scrambling to keep up. He used to never leave my side. And I would understand the running off if I never took him for walks or played with him, and he get's to run and play most of the day. The neighbor dog, she never gets played with and she listens better then Zeke does, and only a couple months older then him. But anywho, My trip to self help is going to be fun for them. It's supposed to be nice today so this should be good. I've still gotta call DPW to fix a few things in my house and I need to fix my car since my dad broke some it. I've gotta get all this stuff done by 15th of November. That is the day that I go back to the states and get to see my 4 year old niece, my cat, my brother, my best friends, and I'm so excited to tailgate at a Hawkeye game. And of course my parents, but I just saw then so it isn't quite as exciting, I do love them dearly!! My niece is the person that I'm most excited to see! She is the best thing to be brought into the earth. Her mother pasted away in June of this year, and my brother is doing a wonderful job raising that beautiful angel.. What do you say to a 4 year old when she asks about her mom, I know I try not to lie and just answer what she asks with confidence. She is amazing!!!! The best conversations I have had in my life have been with her. And she is very excited to see me, my parents and her "other grandma" say she talks about me all the time, which makes me feel delicious. Yes I said delicious. But anyway, I still need to blog about my trips with my parents. But I need to get busy with the outside. That is my gym today!! Have a great day everyone.

It's been awhile...

It's been a long time since I've written in this. I don't know I just forgot about it. Lost a couple "followers", because of it, but what can you do? This is more for me anyway. No offense to anyone. A lot has gone on. The husband deployed, and can I say it's been an experience. The day he left we spent most of it cuddling and going over the last important things. We left the house and 10:45pm and sat at company till almost 2am. It was a long night, I held it together up until they called them to formation and really lost it in the car back home.I have issues with crying in front of people so I didn't completely break down till I was in the car and away from Company. Took me about an 1 1/2 to fall asleep on the couch and then I only slept a couple hours. Of course we had bought a puppy and he needed to be walked and played with so that forced me up and off the couch. I had trouble sleeping for about a week after that, and finally got back into a routine. Now I can't seem to want to get out of bed, but the puppy now almost 7 months old wont let me sleep past 9am. He's a good boy, and really has helped me. I love him to death and so far a pretty good replacement for a cuddle buddy. Although the real husband would be better. I spent a while putting the house together. We finally got our things a few weeks after he left so that kept me busy and still does. I'm having trouble getting things the way I want. But I did learn that I can put up curtain rods, put a new radio in the car, drill giant, unnecessary holes in the way to hang candle holder, and just all around take care of the things I wish I could pawn off on him. :) Let's see, what else... I'm helping coach the pee-wee soccer team, so assistant coach, with my friend who has 3 boys. That has been a lot of fun! The kids crack me up and that takes some time 2 times a week. My husband comes home in January for R&R, and we are very excited!!! I'm keeping myself busy until that time that's for sure. My parents are visiting until the 22nd of this month, my 25th birthday is on Monday, I'm going back to the states for Thanksgiving (very excited), and December is going to be full of getting ready for his visit and the German Christmas Markets. I'm sooooo looking forward to those! Hopefully I can get some sweet ass presents there. I know it's not proper so say 'sweet ass' in that type of sentence, but it seemed to fit. Then January, Is going to be GRRREAT!!! A whole 2 weeks with him, I'll take it. I don't know what I'm going to do next year when I have him for all the holidays and birthdays and just everything. Overwhelmed with joy, happiness, love, probably. Anyway I think I'm going to sign off for now. I'll write some more about my parents and I's trips a little later. Gutten Habin. Probably spelled that wrong, but you should be used to my horrible grammar and spelling by now. Good night!

Bored

It's been awhile again since I've written in this. I actually forgot about it cause I've been busy or just haven't wanted to remember, I don't know which. Today I was sitting here waiting for my husband to come home for lunch and 2 hours later he hasn't come, and I don't know what clicked to make me remember or decided to write. Maybe I needed something to vent on. I'm bored, I sit here all week waiting for him to come home or something and now I'm just getting bored. I ran out of books that I brought and the TV and facebook are actually getting old. Today he had some rehearsal that I didn't know about and he was supposed to come home for lunch and then take me back with him so I could have a meeting with one of the ranking officers. So apparently he didn't know about this rehearsal either. I'm not really making much sense but oh well. But anyway, I went over to a friends after I had been sitting here, we are taking care of her and her husbands animals while they are home for leave and she needed so show me some things, but she wasn't home. So here I came walking back to boredom again. Don't get me wrong we have been having fun, and it's so wonderful to see him everyday and kiss him everyday, but I actually miss working. I may have mentioned this before, but I have had a job ever since I was 15 and always wanted a husband that could support me so I didn't have to work. But there is nothing to do. If I had some horses or even just a dog to keep me busy I wouldn't mind. It was nice to sit around for a little while but now I'm just bored. It would be different if we were home, I have my friends, places that I could go ride, people to see, places to go. But here I don't know very many people yet, especially wives, and it's just not the same. I mean I knew it wouldn't be, but I thought it would be different in a different way. I'm sure if I didn't have some many bills to pay and we had a little more money we would be doing a little more traveling and such, and I wouldn't be like this, but home sickness is kicking in and I would love something to do. Leave is coming up for company and like I said we are taking care of a friends animals and then I also email a lady about walking and playing with her dogs and cats while she is away too. It's a little extra cash and I will have something to do for a couple of weeks. I thought about volunteering at the red cross or something, but when the lady came in and spoke at the FRG meeting it seemed lame. Yes I know Red Cross does some wonderful things, but the volunteering thing seems a little shitty. But maybe I should try it before I make those assumptions. I'm going to try and get a part-time job here in a month or so, so that should help with my boredom too.
So another thing that I'm trying to figure out is how I'm going to get my cat over here. We really don't have the money for me to go home and pick him up, I thought maybe a cargo plane and that makes me nervous. My parents were suppose to come and visit this fall but now they can't so having them bring him wont work. I'm trying to wait till after my husband deploys to bring him over. He is allergic to cats. And why you ask, why am I bringing him here? My husband wanted him in the first place and now I'm attached to the damn adorable thing and can't bring myself to get rid of him. This is going to sound crazy cat lady like, but the cat loves me, he adjust to all my moving like no other cat I've seen and he's like a puppy. Plus I had to get rid of my dog a couple years back and I put down my horse, the love of my life, almost 2 years ago. The cat is the only animal I have left. It's an emotional attachment issue. And I just miss him! So any advice anyone can offer me to get him here I will gladly take it. Thank you..
Otherwise I believe this is all for now. I will try to be more regular on writting in this. It actually may help me. Thanks for reading

Still Here...

It's been a while since I have written in this. We have been so busy! The boys had a couple of 4 days in a row so we were out doing some things and spending some time together. It's been a lot of fun and I'm going to miss these guys when they leave. I get a long with men sometimes better because I can be kind of vulgar and sometimes women don't like it. But I have met one other wife so far and we get a long really well and she is really nice. It finally hit me that I was in Germany when we went to Volksfest near here. And then we went to a thing with some friends and the GPS they were using was set on the scenic route so an 45 min drive ended up to be 2 hours and we went through every single small town that there could possibly be. So then it really hit me. But the landscape is here is beautiful. You can see for miles and it's really wonderful to be able to see that far with out there being smog or a nasty stench other then fertilizer. I can't wait for the pre deployment leave. The hubby has something special plan for us. Which I'm pretty much guessed yesterday, but it killed me he told my parents about it before me. But it was so sweet. But I know there is more to it then what I said, but after hinting some things, very subtlety of course ;), of course he knew a couple things I wanted to do. But I know he's got some tricks up his sleeve. But anyway I got to talk to my niece yesterday on Skype.. I miss her so much. She's 3 almost 4 and the cutest thing. She has really bad allergies and had been out playing so she wasn't really in the mood to talk and wasn't saying much. But she kept asking me if I wanted to drive over there. she still doesn't quite understand how far away I am now. Living at my parents and seeing her so often for a couple months really threw her off. I told her where germany was and she asked why I took a boat and I told her I took a plan and she didn't understand that Germany was that far. She is so confused and I felt really bad.. After I told her she goes oh, you wanna come over tomorrow? So cute! I told my brother to show here on a map where Germany is compared to where they live, it seems she understood that better when I lived in the next state over and didn't get why I couldn't there right off the bat. They showed here and it clicked. But anyway I'm pretty much just blabbing on and on about nothing, so I'm going to go get my cleaning and laundry done.. We had a few people over for dinner and this place is trashed. It's a beautiful day and I'm wanna open up the house and possible go for a little walk too! HAve a good day everyone!

Ah Germany...

I have arrived in Germany. Actually I got her on Wednesday, but this is about the only time I've had to write. It's not that we are going out and doing the tourist thing. It's the grocery shopping, going to the PX, seeing people that I know, and we had a little get together here on Saturday! Not to mention just having the time to sit on the couch with my husband has been something I haven't wanted to walk away from to write in a blog. Well today he is at work and granted I've got quite a bit to do today, I decided to sit down and write how happy I am at this point. We have 2 months together and I would take these 2 months over anything. Deployment is coming up fast and I'm scared out of my mind for that, but right now trying not to think about it. We plan on taking a trip to the Chech Republic and getting back to our root since we are both half Chech. I'm really looking forward to that. Also 1 dollar is worth 18 Krone, so that will be nice since the dang dollar is worth practically nothing in Euro. We might go to an indoor water park this weekend and maybe to a few bar the boys hit on a fairly regular basis. Basically I don't think it's hit me that I'm really in Germany yet. Or I just adjust to things so easy that I don't need to have a panic attack or an ah-ha moment. I just don't know. It's weird and even my husband is like are you sure you realize where you are? I just don't know if I do. But anywho, I should probably get busy, so I'll have to finish some other time.

Finally...

Well today my husband and I bought my plane ticket to Europe! I leave tomorrow.. I can't believe it's finally happening. I'm so excited, and really nervous at the same time!! My stomach has been in knots most of the day. Since the ticket was bought some of those knots have loosened up quite a bit, but they are still there. Now my problem is packing. I want to know how I fit everything in my my bags moving back here but I can't seem to get everything in now. So I will be unpacking and reorganizing my bags again to see if I can finagle just a little bit more room. That's all I need, just a little bit more room. And as soon as I do have a little bit more room I will probably need a little bit more. That's just how it works. My husband also informed me he may not be able to meet me at the airport to pick me up. I'm like oh great, now I have load my 2 heavy ass suitcases onto a train with an opening of about 3 inches all by myself! Holy hell, that is going to be difficult. I did it before. The loading isn't as big of a deal as unloading. Cause once I get to our town it like the subway in Chicago or New York, they give you just enough time to get your self off. So looks like I'm going to be throwing my suit cases out the door and leaping off the train. I know I'm exaggerating, but that's a pretty close description of what might happen. I really hope he can make. One so I can jump into his arms, and two help with my luggage. :) But god, I just can't believe I'm finally going. Still in shock I guess. Alright my break time is over. I must go finish packing and cleaning up my room. Good times!!!

Why is it so hard..

Well, so I made a blog account with milblogging.com. Seems so easy, but you know, claiming the stupid blog is really confusing for me. I'm not to great with technology, I mean I can get my way around and figure things out. Well, trying to claim this stupid blog is terrible. I don't understand the instructions. I don't know why it's so hard, but the directions for it are very vague I what the hell they are talking about. So if anybody could give me some insight and help into how to do it would be great. If not I'll probably ask my dad. And if you have read my blog before, granted this is only the third one, but I did get google back as my homepage. Easy as pie! So silly.

Now next I'm my list.. I can't wait till Tuesday, well yes I can, because leaving my family and friends is going to be really hard. I actually can't wait till Wednesday. Seeing my husband is going to be great. I will probably cry, cause I cry. I hate to cry but I wear my heart on my sleeve, or so I've been told. I know the house isn't going to be much, but it's my first house that's somewhat ours. I know it sounds silly, after about the 3rd time I will be singing a different tune, but I have a little lawn to mow. Not my first lawn to mow, but the first of my own. i told my hubby he better mow the lawn every time before he leaves for deployment, get his fill so he doesn't miss it. He argued with me, in a loving way, but then I told him he's going to be doing the dishes a lot when I first get there cause we will only have 2 plates and a pot until our stuff arrives. And you will never guess, he agreed. I said did you hear what I said, that you are going to be doing the dishes every night and he said yep. I was like ok you argue with the "man" type thing to do and don't argue with washing the dishes. Whatever.. I guess my man is... different. But I love him. Any how I've gotta finally start my day I think. I'm just not sure what my day holds for me.

I hate it when...

I really hate it when different websites trick you into making there web search thing your homepage. And now I can't get my old one back.. but then again I'm really tired and I will try again tomorrow. That is just really annoying to me. But I guess I was the gullible one and can't blame them in a way for being able to trick me...

On a brighter note, we got our housing. I will be leaving for Europe next week.. Thank god. I was just so worried and upset that I wouldn't get to spend anytime with my husband before he left for deployment. Now I don't have to worry I will have a glorious 2 1/2 months with him. It's an amazing feeling. I'm scared for the move and being so far away from home, but that is the sacrifice I had to make to as a wife to be with my husband. And the greatest thing is, is he is so excited his current roommates and friends are feeding off his excitement and are well excited as well. I have met a few of them and think they are great men and I am looking forward to seeing them. And another really great thing is some one I know from my hometown is also stationed where my husband is and he is looking forward to a familiar face and someone to have fun with. So all in all I really think this was a great decision and I'm looking forward to my new adventures.

My first blog..

I never thought that I would open a blog. I never thought I would be this frustrated and it seems the only way to let it out any more is to share my experience and hope that there is someone out there that will relate. Some one that is going through something similar and be able to tell why it is the the way it is. I can't seem to get a straight answer on that. Why? Why, is a question that I can't seem to get an answer too. I guess I should state why I'm asking why.
My husband is in the military. If you are involved with the Military, you can guess some of my frustrations. My husband and I got married in December 2009, I have only seem my husband for 5 physical days of our marriage. The whole plan was for me to move where he is based. Which all I'm going to say is in Europe. I was excited. First, I would get to spend everyday with my husband until he deploys for Iraq, which is in 2 months. Second, I would get to travel Europe for 3 years. Well from what someone was saying I would have been able to be there in 2 weeks of us getting married. I thought OK maybe not 2 weeks but maybe a month. I got everything I needed to do, done, I quit my job and moved back to my parents to wait. Yeah, I'm still at my parents. I'm waiting for housing. Apparently there is just so many people looking for housing that I've been sitting around waiting for almost 3 month. Basically we can't get any answers and today we finally set a date to where if I'm not there by then I'm not going to stay just to visit. That date is just over a month away. I am crossing my fingers that a house comes through soon.. Like in a week soon, which I know isn't going to happen and I've almost given up hoping for something. I love my husband so much, I respect everything he and all those men and women are doing for our country. I will support my husband in this till I die, but is it really too much to ask to be able to spend some time with my husband? Is is too much to ask to let us spend a month together. I truly believe if it weren't for the wives and families, these soldiers wouldn't be able to do what they do. I know all the quotes about this. You know the ones.. "if the army wanted to you have a wife and kids they would have issued you one" and "hurry up and wait". But I'm not that patient and I don't believe in the first one. So here I am, waiting. I just can't seem to fathom not seeing my husband off on the day he leaves for deployment. I just can't seem myself here while he's getting on that plane without me there to tell him that I believe in him and come home to me. I know I sound slightly cheesy and young, but that's I am. I knew what I was getting into when I married him, I knew it was a huge sacrifice on my emotions and what I thought marriage was supposed to be like. I just don't think I prepared myself well enough. So it's going to take me a while longer to get over it. I know I will, I just want to wallow in my self pity for a bit.
So in conclusion, can anyone answer me why it's like this? Why can't we get the answers we need, why can't I be with my husband? And off the other why's I can't finding wording for? Well I know not all my post will be like this, but thank you for reading this..